i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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