In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
