It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
