her vagine was all disorganized.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize