I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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