Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
