thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Fuck appropriateness.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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