The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize