Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
