sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
