I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
