she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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