Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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