I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
