if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
