put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
