so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
