i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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