can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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