yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
