after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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