Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
