my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
