at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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