I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
