she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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