Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
