I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
