dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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