Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
