If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i came on her dog
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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