so explain again why im purple
no
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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