burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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