Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
