Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Help. Why am I so naked?
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