did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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