You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
