i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
