I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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