Life is so much better after having sex.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
