so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
