So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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