just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
