where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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