gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
