When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
