I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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