so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
oh god the rape fog is back!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
