she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
