i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
