I cannot find my penis.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
