Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My friends, they love my intelligence
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
