very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
