Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
