I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
