You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
