I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
