Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am one with the molecules
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
