D3 body, D1 cock
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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