I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
