Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
